I was cleaning my cabinet of books at home one weekend, when a piece of folded paper fell off from one of my Calculus books. I opened the folder paper saw this:
I wish I am that shoulder you can cry on in times when the world seems too unfair to you. I wish I am the friend you could go to in cases where you need help. I wish I am that confidante you share your deepest and darkest secrets to.
But sadly, you didn’t see me as such. Not even close.
We happen to meet, because we form part of a team and a group. We happen to chat, not because we want to, but because we are there at almost the same time. We happen to go out, not because we enjoy each other’s company, but because “we go with the flow”.
I expected much from this “friendship”. And I am starting to accept the failed expectation.
From now on, I will remind myself we are not friends, and we might not be anytime soon. From now on, I will devote my time and effort on people that gives me the chance to know them more. From now on, I will stop wishing and hoping, and just start believing on people that value me as I value them.
I need to remind myself we are acquaintances, after all. Nothing more.
When I was younger, I usually scribble thoughts like this on paper. The letter above was one of the things I wrote and was never sent to the intended reader.
There will always be things and people that we wish to have in our lives. Truth is, the things and people we wish for, might not just be the things and people we need as we journey through life now.
But maybe, just maybe, sometime in the future we will meet them again, and there they will fulfill their purposes in our lives.
It took me some years to realize that point.
As I re-read that short note from the past, it brings me to smile to realize that we meet people to teach us lessons that we’ll be using in our future lives.